Written by Benjiman Grant

Our Scars Remind Us, That The Past Is Real.

my awesome double decker mint imperial

So it has been quite a weekend of note, both personally and globally. I think I would be remiss to ignore the events in Orlando, and also the events in Marseille. I don’t want to get into debate of who did what and why they did it. The world has these antagonists as we have our own personal battles. I think it can be a good vision into people, upon how they react in this adversity.

I think maybe a year ago I would have relished the debate of news, politics and religion. Making my own opinions and judgements. But now It just makes me realise even more how swift it can all go. I feel almost tempered by the logic that some people take it too far.

What I am circling around is that we need to focus on what makes us happy. By this I don’t demand huge gestures of happiness, or changing of lifestyle. But we have to say yes a bit more. I remember reading Danny Wallace’s book ‘Yes Man’ when I was at uni, although written as a self deprecating comedy, this story was a man coming to terms with adulthood and realising some annoyingly simple truths. Now I do realise this is a journey we all have to do ourselves. I don’t think being a grown up is a destination, I imagine it as the name of our Voyage. But to the book, Danny realised that by saying Yes gave him a more positive approach. With his new approach his actual life problems became more easy to deal with, and some infact became positives.

We so often forget where we come from, we lose who we are. I have been dancing down nostalgia lane this week, and remembering my childhood. I had a good childhood, and while it had its waves and storms, it never felt out of control. But when I was a kid, I just wanted to be happy, and it was so simple. I played with that thing, or ate that wotsit, or screamed whatever words came into my head. Nostalgia can be a trip back to ‘simpler times’; I however think its more of an idea of what you want.

In scriptwriting I remember always having to think about a characters wants and their needs. Honestly its a concept I found a little to subjective as when ever pop culture characters were named our class would all shout out various different things we thought were needs only to be told they were wants. proving instantly  that all people consuming these characters and media see wants and needs in very different ways. Perhaps because we are a bit more that lists of wants and needs.

Or are we?

I want to be happy, I want good health, I want those close to me the same, I want to live comfortably and I want loads of Christmas presents. Oh and cake, and tea, and pets, and games consoles, and tvs, and lottery win….

Ok, so the want list can kinda go on forever.

I need to keep breathing, or that whole death thing. I need to keep moving, or you know…that death thing. Like not literally like a shark keep moving or die, but if I didn’t move, I wouldn’t be able to eat, drink, move….poop. Anyhew!!! I need to be part of the world. This one is more complex and might need explaining, but knowing me ill just get side tracked with some metaphorical analogy. I do think we have a need to know our place. are we a parent, a lover, a worker, a helper, a teacher, a legacy, a speck of dust in an ever expanding universe. I still don’t know my place really, I think sometimes it is my career or lack thereof that I crave, other days It can be the want of family.

Family…yeah lets talk about my weekend…it was lovely. And that’s the most important thing. I spent time around lots of people whom I do and don’t know. It was uncomftable physically, but that is something I can resolve myself, relax and make sure I don’t do more than I can handle. Got to play with and chat to baby Lucas, a smiler of epic proportions. You can’t be in pain when a baby who is a master of standing up holding on to things is staring you down. The big eyes, the mouth agape, the drool string hanging from chin and then the smile. Heart melt! I can see why in Greys Anatomy they cheer themselves up in the newborns area.

That’s the future. One day I won’t matter…well I will because of course this blog will take off and I will be a world famous smile helper. But its nice to know, no matter how bad it gets, life does go on. Happiness will always be there.

Don’t worry, be happy.

Just look at that cute little bugger!!!

BBRD, Luz and her sister Emma’s team won. Bleachers are so uncomfortable. Banging of people moving hurt so much. More cushioning needed in future. Perhaps I need a fold up lazeboy.


So fun was had. I get to rest this week. Lots of football on with the Euros and Copa America. Plus time in bed resting means I can relax, write, and research and learn.


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