Written by Benjiman Grant

Don’t Have A Cow, I’ll Eat My Shorts Instead

Everyone has their own problems. We are busy dealing with our own. We seem to have a vision of ourselves as flawed, but everyone else is fine and has no issues.

We all can be selfish and I will be the first to admit I want to be the centre of the world. I am an attention seeker, but it has to be on my terms. I am also very aware that when I am around people I am very empathic. So I like to make people around me smile and be happy as it helps me be happy. Unfortunately due to anxiety and awkwardness I don’t really know how to make people smile, sometimes I can try too hard and just end up embarrassing myself. Now though embarrassment doesn’t make me want to shy away and recoil from the world. Instead, the anxiety that comes with embarrassment seems to be embracing my performer side and I am able to laugh it off. Thus highlights the bigger problem I am aware of my own selfish attitude, when in social situations I am spending more time worrying about myself and my own self image. I love the people I interact with and I love sharing with people around me. I just need to be more open to others and new things.

And how does that make you feel?

Well, heyyyyyy hang on…I see. Yes, I’m using this blog as a form of continuing my therapy. The biggest challenge I used to face was, finding something to talk about myself for the whole sessions. It sometimes felt like the scene in ‘Good Will Hunting’; Robin Williams and Matt Damon have a therapy session, they both sit in muted silence for the whole session. I was left to talk first so many times and nothing happened. I had no words to say. I would sit in silence for what felt like hours, in reality 10-15 minutes. This point would mark an encouraging question to help continue talking. The more i spoke, the more I realised the simplicity of it all. I had to explain everything, in its fullest detail, in my fullest truth. The fact of the matter is that Dr Alexander (My Psychotherapist) wasn’t a mind reader (I know, i was disappointed when I found out no special powers, I dunno I was hoping for Jean Grey type thing :P) I had to be forthcoming with my feelings. So the question”how does that make you feel?” while mocked in cinema and tv, is actually very important, to encourage you to share with them what is wrong with you. Watch House M.D. go spend 3 weeks with it on netflix…Ok now you are back, the one thing he highlights throughout the show is Everybody Lies, usually the morale of the story and the cure for the illness comes from the truth. So I figured tell the psychotherapist everything and we can lay it all out and discuss it from there. But the encouragement, i think thats where I need to improve, encouraging others around me.

So I am going to update my page sometime soon and will have a Contact Me section. I am not in any way qualified as any form of therapist, but I do want to make friends and meet new people. Perhaps we can learn more from each other and continue on.

benjimangrant@gmail.com is my email address so if you want/need (that was hilarious if you read yesterdays blog) feel free to share stories, fun happiness, leave feedback. I will take constructive criticism of the blog and webpage if you can help improve it, but please save any negativity towards me or my content, write it in a letter and send it to yourself.

I did speak to a friend, who for his own safety I shall call…Mush, he slightly misunderstood my preachings yesterday, children. Now while I do mightly decree that you should bow down and worship the one true Double-Decker Mint Imperial, I do need  you to know that I ate it, so therefore am the New Minty Deity. So please no slaughtering innocents in my name, a few simple suicide cults will be more than enough to earn my good praise and eternal peppermintyness.

I do want to speak about solidarity briefly.

noun
  1. 1.
    unity or agreement of feeling or action, especially among individuals with a common interest; mutual support within a group.

As an Arsenal fan I hear this word used a lot in reference to the team spirit. I want to mention that we are one world, one people. We are not our disability, our ethnicity, our sexualty, our career, none of these things define our race, we are Human. We have flaws, we fail, but its how we get back up. together we are formidable. we spend so much time in argument, disagreement and contrasting opinion. We forget we are all here to live. we all have a common interest. The world needs more solidarity. I dream of a Federation of planets happiness, Star Trek as a child spoiled my ideology of what we could be. We still have come so far since I was a child, we can connect to every corner of the planet, we are more grouped up than ever, we can share our lives together and express our happiness. Evil and cruelty will continue, but how we deal with that is what makes us special.

Thank you for reading, I hope you have a great reason to smile today.

 

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