Written by Benjiman Grant

The Way You Make Me Cups Of Tea When I Stay Round At Your Place.

Today I write about Legacy, a Recipe and a Love Story, I keep wanting to start these “Previously on this blog…Ben did stuff, wrote about it and, well you probably read it….right?”

Featured Image – It’s the moon, y’know big permanent satellite orbiting the earth on a literally daily basis.  “If you really want to see the world, travel to the moon” ~ Me, Just Now.

Title Song – Jesse James – Shoes – These UK ska boys were a staple of any good gig night out for me. In this, a more gentle break, a true and heartwarming love story. 


So the other day, when I had visitors, did I mention that? I had visitors, like friends, came to MY house. We talked and everything, with words, and there was a little person, well little in age, he’s about as tall as me! I Adulted, I socialised, with visitors.

Suffice to say I am a little proud of myself. It was a nice way to see how far recovery has come for me. Sometimes living with it, day-to-day, it can be harder to see the victories as clearly. This one is a stand out. It was also great fun. For privacy I shall call them Mark and Lindsey and their son can be….lets say Jacob.

So Lindsey and I went to college together, and became fast friends, she has always been with Mark, I didn’t actually meet him for about 4/5 months, but I quickly realised these were two people who just clicked. Mostly because he was already comfortably under the thumb, as Lindsey put it herself “Mark can wear the trousers, But I buy them”. I was in a band called Root, with Mark, and would often stay at their flat in Grantham on practice nights and gigs.

It is a strange gesture, but these were the only two people I never felt I had to pull away from on social media, when I would cull friends lists and followers and hide my profiles. We had spent so much time together that I never felt uncomfortable with them seeing me at my worst.

So of course seeing Jacob, almost 11, with them I realised something. Legacy, leaving something tangible behind when you are gone. I always like to think that something of both my grandfathers will stay alive with me as their legacy. Jacob is literally a combination of his parents, of course, but in his personality and attitude he is the embodiment of these two wonderful people. It’s a real legacy that they have left and will continue on. It is I presume part of our nature to breed, fundamental need to leave a legacy and continue our species. On a more personal level, it is a passion to impart knowledge or pass down a part of myself. After the love Baz showed me as a child from a step parent, I always dreamed of becoming a parent myself. Not only to be able to love them and nurture them, but to also leave something of myself when I leave this world (yup I’m off to the moon!) It does get me down from time to time that life has interrupted the chance to be a parent.

Lindsey: “you were the one who introduced me to ketchup and mayonnaise on my burger and chips”

Jacob: “Ewww, that was you!!”

I DID IT GUYS! Legacy left, A child hates ketchup and mayo because of me! Ok so maybe I missed the point of legacy slightly. It did really show me that with so many friends and loved ones who have children; There is plenty of people in my life, with whom I can be a part of their lives, now and for history.

So like I have totally discovered the secret to immortality, so if you just want to send your thank and payment, I will have to set up with one “BENJIMAN LEGACY KIT”.


Right, so legacy, what is the most common legacy. Recipes, family members the world round pass them down through generations. So I am cooking tonight, so thought I would share my recipe.


What you need:

  • Pork Ribs – not too meaty.
  • Apple Cider Vinegar  (2 caps full)
  • Worcestershire Sauce (A generous sloshing)
  • Salt (a decent pinch)
  • Pepper (as much as you would like)
  • Smoked Paprika (loads, like keep shaking, more, nope, more! oh let me do it! lets say 2 tablespoons)
  • 1 tea-cup of tomato ketchup (teacup is a new british measurement, it’s probably closer to a small mug)
  • 1/2 tea-cup of brown sugar (yup, sorry, its sweet, and its lovely, and its bad for you!)
  • Maple syrup (a glug!)
  • Chinese Five Spices (like salt a decent pinch)
  • Mustard (I have mild stuff and I like 2 small spoons worth)

What you do:

Open the packet of Ribs, I like to use the tray to mix everything up in, just remember to take out that sanitary pad they put under the meat sometimes (yes I have cooked a few of them over the years). The packs of ribs I use are usually about 10-12 bones. So this Recipe is good for giving them a liberal covering.

Then, throw on the ingredients, I have tried this different ways, making a paste with the dry and wet ingredients, massaging them into the meat, making it up in a separate bowl. I can safely say it turns out the same every time no matter which way.

Mix the meat in as much as you can, stir it up smear it over and make sure all the ingredients blend together.

To cook put it in a slower cooker for 4-6 hours on Low.This really is the best way to cook it, it softens the bones for the marrow to infuse, and also the meat just falls off the bone. When it comes out of the slow cooker you can put the ribs and sauce in a frying pan for about 5-10 minutes just to thicken the sauce a little and caramelize the mix on the Ribs. they taste good either way, but that’s a personal preference. We love to have them with sweet potato fries, or our other option: 2 potato waffles with a slice of Red Leicester cheese sandwiched between so it begins to melt. Both taste amazing dipped in the sauce.

If you make this for someone you love,I guarantee they will smile. It’s really happy food.

First Kiss

So I said the other day I would give this a try, so here is a little bit of what I wrote earlier today.

I slowly reached my hand towards her face, cupping her cheek in my palm. I could feel my stomach tie in a knot. The nerves were now excitement. Fear replaced by passion. I could only see her eyes staring back at me.

Oh her eyes, the speckles of different colours, framed by crystalized blue! She was staring intently at me. As my hand caressed the skin on her face, she shuffled slightly closer and a smile burst into life upon her face.


“Well?” she asked with a confidence I wish I shared. “What are you waiting for?”


I wasn’t sure, I just wanted to soak in every second of this moment. I wanted to capture it as a permanent memory.

I closed my eyes, raising my other hand to her other cheek and gently encouraging her lips to meet mine.

The smell of her sweet perfume, watermelon and roses, it sent a shiver down my spine. I felt my heart beat faster, as I felt her breath on my lips. They tingled with desire, and I knew this was the moment I had been hoping for.

Our lips met, almost choreographed, our heads tilted, my hands crept round to the back of her neck to feel the soft baby hair standing on end. Our mouths slightly open, massaging each other with gentle pouts and feeling the desire spread through my body. Goosebumps erupted on my skin. My legs began to shake. The joy was overwhelming. The passion took over. Any suggestion of thought was lost as her arms clamped around my waist and pulled me so tight to her. I could feel her body kissing mine, we fit together like we were made this way. I was lost in the moment, as i felt her tongue slowly push past my lips and make contact with my own. Although my eyes were closed tightly, I felt like I was seeing every  part of her. The taste of her on my lips, the smell radiating around me, all contributed to the depth of my lust for her now.

Our first kiss. A moment I would cherish dearly for the rest of my life, she had already won my mind, but now she took my heart.

As our faces slowly released I opened my eyes, to see her beaming smile, she shrugged with content as she tilted her head and bit her lip coyly. I lowered a hand from behind her head and our fingers met and intertwined.

Our first kiss! I couldn’t believe the joy that took over my whole body. I had never felt so close to anyone, but also the whole world didn’t matter any longer. We were in a bubble of happiness, sharing something special. That neither time, nor anything else would touch.

Or so I thought…



So yeah, deep, meaningful love song this. play it for your beloved, when you make them the ribs! Perhaps don’t do that, I am a mischievous monkey, This song is just fun, happy and an unadulterated good time! I used to love ska, live because of the whole vibe from the music through to the crowd, it was really connected and everyone just wanted to skank (the only form of dancing at which I was ever prolific, not for the want of trying!) and sing along together. Id make friends simply by dancing with them. It was so connective and brilliant. Enjoy!

8 thoughts on “The Way You Make Me Cups Of Tea When I Stay Round At Your Place.

  1. Those ribs sound awesome. I have par boiled them in vinegar and water first then baked them, but never just slow cooked them. I will have to try that. Do you remove the “silver skin”? Its the tough membrane on the back of the ribs. I find it helps make them more tender.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The ribs do sound good! One of my favorites! I also love the love story! Are you writing a novel? Please tell me yes, I’m greedy and I want more!! I too like Ska! I don’t listen to it as much as I used to. My favorite Ska band is Reel Big Fish! Not sure if you ever heard of them, they were a local to me and then made it big. I have friends who knew the members before they hit the big time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I loooooooove reel big fish!!! I got so into ska during the late 90s! It’s just so happy. I’m not quite so into any music as I was back then. The love story maybe happening. I just need to practice and find my style and maybe sit with the thesaurus for a few days!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gotcha I’ve been working on Sci Fi/love story. Think Supernatural meet Casablanca! Ha! I know how it sounds, just go with me on this! I currently have writers block. I need to get my creative juices flowing, but I’ve written a good bit so far. I just need to go back and add some conflict, because it is far too sappy. I don’t want it to wind up as a movie on the Hallmark channel! Those aren’t bad, just cliche!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey maybe we should set up a time where we can Skype or something and just throw some ideas out. I have my whole semi sci-fi universe that always needs more ideas and is still in its infancy. Might be able to share some inspiration and ideas!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I went to high school with one of the current RBF members, but I also remember seeing my first show of their’s at 15…he joined long after, but I do recall the ska band he was a part of in high school playing cover songs of RBF at the school talent night.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s