Please keep the content of This post private, out of respect for my parents. While I like to share my life and offer support. This stage of my life has the immediate potential to create hate and animosity. While I am comfortable with any reaction or repercussion I do not expect others to be as comfortable as I am with dealing with that.
In addition to this I have made a private instagram account this will be my main outlet for this so please can I ask for you to respect my wishes and not post publically other than on this blog post or on that instagram account.
Im Coming Out, I Want The World To Know!
I am both happy and proud to finally share something very important with you my lovely readers, friends, spoonies, family, random stranger with a suspicious package (oooerr).
I would firstly like to thank the Academy….
NO OSCAR? Aww
Ahh well maybe next year my story might make a better oscar story.
[COME ON! WHAT YOU GONNA TELL US?]
Oh ok. Well I have been looking forward to sharing this news and making it public. I am at the start of my journey, so take my hand and let’s jump in for the fun ride ahead.
I am transitioning from a male human (ish) to a female human.
Go on go back read it again,
Well let’s take a break huh you just deal with that, i will continue writing though for the people who want to read on, and the ones who are back already!
Soooo yes, well FUCK YES!!! I am honestly so thrilled and excited to be openly able to discuss this. Let me give you some quick history to get caught up.
As you mostly know my Psychotherapy ended over a year ago now, and when i had my last session of that course of therapy, I heard the statement “You get to feel yourself again” I am paraphrasing, for artistic license mostly (hey i want that oscar!) Now for the rude people, she didn’t mean feel myself up, get your mind out the gutter (sneaky high five) It was a statement that hooked with me though, as I felt better, but i didn’t feel myself. I presumed at the time it was merely a case of that being the continuation of my therapy after our sessions. I would feel myself in no time (oh rude crew, stop it!!)
The more i was reconnecting into the world again the more I was able to experience and it. After my treatment I was on Youtube and came across (rude crew, i see the giggles!) this video from a favourite comedy band of mine Axis of Awesome.
Well Jordan, not only did you pretty much say everything I need to say, but you also were my inspiration, my confidence and my hope! I too was a groomer of the recognisable beard, but I realise it was me hiding. I realised watching your words, that I to have Gender Dysphoria or as a recent doctor’s letter, described it as, Transsexual Disorder (yeah don’t worry we will discuss that one day, but today is about positivity)
I would also like to highlight the transition of the Wachowski’s, and their beautiful Netflix series Sense8, was a massive inspiration. Seeing more and more trans people in the public eye has really made me realise how easy it should be to be comfortable in my gender.
Laverne Cox, such character she has shown in her career. Her public image has played a supreme role in giving me the ability to dream of this future life for me.
Not Transgender, but I also want to thank Eddie Izzard, his self-confidence and humour really reached out to me during my formative years. He gave me inner strength to wear make up and dresses and skirts in public places.
In my late teens I loved nothing more than a night out at a rock club, my long hair dyed brightly, my nails painted black, dark lipstick and eye liner, crushed velvet lace up skirt, dancing at the centre of the stage.
To be in the centre of a public area and able to express myself fully was such affirmation of how happy I was at the time. I lost that along the way, I almost settled into this mystical grown up “phase” where I felt I almost fell into a stereotype of a life, instead of the life that I wanted.
I wasn’t happy as man. I’ve never identified comfortably as a man. I found it easier around women. I wanted to embrace my emotions. I wanted to express myself through style. I felt a closer affinity with the feminine side of my personality. I always used to put it down to being bi-sexual. I was often describe as camp. Not to put a stereotype on feminine traits, but these were more the feelings that felt like they pushed against the male part of me.
With pain and depression I saw no way of being me again, I had literally lost hope. So now not only had therapy given me a life again, it also opened the door to me finding myself.
I am a transgender woman.
I have informed my Doctors, my family, close friends, and few random strangers. They have all been loving and supportive and given me confidence and pride in my decision. I have reached out and made contact with the LGBT centre in Leicester, and when I have moved home I hope to be able to travel there for support and help in beginning my journey. I will need to attend GIU (gender identity unit/clinic) to begin the process and that referral might take a while to come through for an appointment.
So now you are caught up.
So why are you telling us now? Isn’t it a bit early? I mean you still look like a man? You still dress like a man?
Im sure there is many questions, but my reasons are simply that I am proud of my decision and want to be out and begin living as a woman. It will be a long process, and I am aware I will need support and help, but also education and advice. If there is one thing I have learnt from being honest about my disability and illnesses, that is, that we get more support when we speak up, than if we stay quiet.
I want to be like Jordan, for someone to read my words and say “hey I’m not happy with my gender, and its ok to be confident in admitting who I am!”
Well, isn’t there lots to talk about: name ideas, clothes, make up, underwear! (i can’t wait to not just wear boring boxers!!!) hair!
I was talking to my best friend (sorry that’s sounds very high school, but she is, so I will call her as such as she deserves all the accolades) Kait and she asked me –
So I guess I’m confused.. You like girls or boys or both? But you want to dress like a girl? Are you attracted to women? Or more into men?
I like both girls and boys, i guess that’s more of a case of never saying never to anyone. like i don’t know the person i might fall in love with next might be a man or a woman. I want to be more than just dress as a woman, I think it will probably be a complete change
I prefer the company and conversation of women, i struggle connecting with men, so i always find the idea of a relationship easier with a woman
But the woman you will be with will have to be ok with you being a woman too?
and probably be ok with me previously being a man also
And you want kids?
Your own or adoption?
I would love my own, but obviously unless i freeze my sperm, that’s probably less likely
I just want to be a parent so badly
Because sex is painful?
yup and when I become a woman, my sperm count will be low.
Thanks for answering my million questions
i’d rather you know
Well I won’t judge you regardless
I presume sharing these answers might provide you guys with answers to questions might ask.
I want to be as open and candid about my transitioning, I want to share my journey and I would love to offer support to anyone else, at any stage, of this part of their life!
We all have opinions and beliefs, and I understand not everyone will be comfortable or understand my choice. For you please ask anything you want to know, but don’t judge or hate. I am making this change as a change to be happy in myself. Fundamentally if you find anger from MY decision, you are angry at a happy person. Say that out loud to yourself 5 times, “I am angry, at someone else’s happiness” there is an easy cure too: Don’t!
As always I try to respond personally to every reply i get and you are welcome to use my contact me page to find one of many forms of getting in touch with me. If I can discuss it, or help you, or just to make excited squeals of happiness.
I am now Jemima Isobel. however you know me I will still respond, I love my new name it is based on my male name my mum chose and that is very important to me.
I d now Identify as Female, so would prefer to be referred to as She or Her.
Obviously you will begin to see changes in my appearance i will be mostly documenting via pictures over on my new private instagram feed. (CLICK ME FOR PRIVATE INSTAGRAM) My blog will continue to be biographical, sometimes catching you up with my change, but also continuing to raise awareness about invisible illnesses and documenting my way to recovery.
I also ask your respect, not just towards myself, but my family and friends. While I appreciate any questions or support, I would request people do not show negativity or hate towards the people that I love, regarding MY decision.
I am also sorry to all the beard lovers, i did love my beard, but since i have removed it I have learnt to love my face. The potential expressing my more feminine features excites me beyond belief.
Finally it would seem
…I am on the right path
(OOOOHHH BOOM, GRANT WITH THE SLAM DUNK OSCAR! USING THE BLOG TITLE IN THE BLOG POST THATS SOME QUALITY WRITING!!!!)
Well it wouldn’t be my blog without so music! I couldn’t pick just one song here, so for your lovely earholes a few songs that have helped me smile and celebrate this moment.
You make me feel, like a natural woman
I’m just a girl
She has a girlfriend now
Dude looks like a lady
I Want to Break Free